Welcome to the Yankees, Mark Teixeira!

January 6, 2009
By DailySkew

Well, Mark Teixeira (the NEW Number 25) explained his TRUE reasons for signing with the Yankees:

#1 Proximity to his family (his parents are 290 miles away, someone lives in New Jersey, and his sister whom he never mentioned until today lives in NY.)
#2 He always wanted to become a Yankee (which explains why he was angry at the Red Sox for not drafting him when he was a kid. Also his favorite players were Eddie Murray and Cal Ripken.)
#3 He wants a ring. (Which explains why he was negociating with the Washington Nationals.)
#4 His wife will enjoy showing in New York. (Which explains why she was never there before- she loves Georgia and Texas.)
#5 The contract itself. (More money than God.)

By the way, Mark was #23, so he had to settle for #25.

Yes, after watching Mark give all the right answers today (as fed to him by agent Scott Boras and Brian Cashman), I was very happy to have Mark in pinstripes for the next 8 years. One announcer even commented about how his #25 will be joining Don Mattingly’s #23 in Monument Park one day.

After watching all of the Mark Teixeira Press Conference and post-interviews on MLB.com and YesNetwork.com, manager Joe Girardi was the only person to mention the Yankees previous 1st baseman. Unfortunately, I realized mentioning his name is no longer the official course of business operations of the YesNetwork, Brian Cashman, Randy Levine, Kim Jones, or the Steinbrenner Clan.

The recton has begun: Who was the Yankees 1st baseman after Tino Martinez? Answer: Mark Teixeira.

Vince McMahon and John Byrne would be proud of the revisionist history sold by the Yankees Front Office today.

Anyway, we must all accept Mark on the team. In other words, get over it, folks. Mark is here to stay. He and A-Rod will go down in history as the greatest 1-2 punch since Ruth-Gehrig. Mantle-Maris can’t even compare. Mark my words.


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14 Responses to “ Welcome to the Yankees, Mark Teixeira! ”

  1. Anonymous on January 6, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    Is he better than Glenn Davis?

  2. Skew on January 6, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    Yes.

  3. Skew on January 6, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    Yes.

  4. Anonymous on January 6, 2009 at 6:37 pm

    Bob Horner?

  5. Skew on January 6, 2009 at 6:37 pm

    Yes.

  6. Anonymous on January 6, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    Fred McGriff?

  7. Skew on January 6, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    No. Fred McGriff was better.

  8. Anonymous on January 6, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    Jeff Bagwell?

  9. Skew on January 6, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    No, Jeff Bagwell was better.

  10. Anonymous on January 6, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    Jim Thome?

  11. Skew on January 6, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    No, Jim Thome is better.

  12. Anonymous on January 7, 2009 at 7:50 am

    Do not worry folks..
    Our John Sterling and Ssusan Waltman will mention JASON many
    times over the season…
    They cross the line all of the time! They mention Yankee greats
    such as Paul Oneil, Bernie Williams’, Joe Torre, and Yanks
    who have been traded, like David
    Wells ( who hunts)….

  13. Anonymous on January 7, 2009 at 9:31 am

    Is Mark Teixeira really going to wear # 25???
    What a nerve!
    That’s like Tino Martinez wearing # 23 when he became a Yankee.

  14. Jim on January 7, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    This deal has BOMB written all over it.

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